Why Fighting Costs So Much Money

The biggest reason to stay friendly is simple: money.

In a typical "fighting" divorce, every time your lawyer talks to your spouse's lawyer, it costs money. Every time your lawyer goes to court to argue about a small detail, it costs money. If you have to hire experts to value your house or look at your retirement accounts because you can’t agree, that costs even more money.

When you stay friendly, you cut those costs way down. You aren't paying two lawyers to fight each other. Instead, you are paying for help to get the paperwork done correctly. It is much cheaper to have a lawyer review an agreement you already made than it is to have a lawyer fight for that agreement in front of a judge.

I always tell my clients that every dollar you spend fighting is a dollar that isn't going toward your kids' college or your new life. As a small-town lawyer, I want to see your money stay in your pocket.

Saving Your Most Valuable Resource: Time

Besides money, the biggest thing you save is time. The court system in Indiana is busy. If you want a judge to decide your case, you might have to wait months just to get a date on the calendar. If the judge is busy with other cases, your trial might get pushed back even further.

In Indiana, there is a "waiting period" of 60 days from the time you file for divorce before it can be finished. In a friendly divorce, you can often be done very shortly after those 60 days are up. You sign the papers, the judge approves them, and you are finished.

If you are fighting, that 60 days can easily turn into 600 days. Do you really want to be stuck in legal limbo for two years? Probably not. Staying friendly lets you cross the finish line faster so you can start your next chapter.

The Power of Mediation

Sometimes, you want to be friendly, but you just can't agree on one or two things. Maybe you agree on the house, but you can’t agree on who gets the tractor or how to split the credit card debt.

This is where mediation comes in. Mediation is just a fancy word for a meeting where a neutral person (the mediator) helps you and your spouse talk through your problems.

The mediator doesn't take sides. They don't tell you what to do. They just help you find a middle ground that works for everyone. Many families in North Vernon find that mediation is much less scary than a courtroom. It happens in an office, not a judge's chambers. You can wear jeans, drink coffee, and take breaks.

Mediation often leads to better results because you are the one making the choices. A judge doesn't know your family like you do. A judge might make a ruling that neither of you likes. In mediation, you don't stop until you find a solution you both can live with.

If you are looking for a lawyer in Vernon, Indiana to help with this, I can walk you through how the process works. You can learn more about how I help on my About Me page.

Keeping the Peace for the Kids

If you have children, staying friendly is even more important. Kids are smart. They can feel the tension when their parents are fighting. Even if you think you are hiding it, they know.

When you choose a friendly divorce, you are teaching your kids a great lesson. You are showing them that even when things get hard, adults can be respectful and work together. This makes the "co-parenting" part of life much easier later on. You still have to see each other at ball games, graduations, and weddings. Starting off on the right foot now makes those future events much better for everyone.

If you are worried about how to handle the kids during this time, you might find our post on how to prepare for a custody hearing helpful, even if you are trying to stay friendly.

Why a Local Lawyer Matters

You might wonder why it matters if your lawyer is from right here in Jennings County. My office is in Vernon, but I help people all over the area, from the busy streets of North Vernon to the quiet roads of Commiskey.

Being a local Jennings County attorney means I know how our local courts work. I know the people involved. I don't charge high travel fees like big-city lawyers might if they have to drive down here from Indy. I live here, I work here, and I care about our community.

I like to think of myself as a problem-solver. My job isn't to make your divorce harder or more dramatic. My job is to listen to what you have to say and give you options that make sense for your life. Whether you are dealing with a simple name change or a complex divorce, I wear many hats to make sure you feel supported.

Tips for Staying Friendly During a Divorce

If you want to try for a faster, cheaper, and friendlier divorce, here are a few tips:

1. Keep it private: Don't post about your divorce on Facebook or vent to mutual friends. This almost always leads to hurt feelings and more fighting.

2. Be honest: Share all the information about money and property. If your spouse thinks you are hiding something, they will stop being friendly very quickly.

3. Focus on the future: Don't get stuck on things that happened in the past. You can't change the past, but you can control what your future looks like.

4. Listen: Sometimes, your spouse just wants to feel heard. Even if you don't agree, listening can go a long way in keeping the peace.

5. Get professional help early: Talking to a lawyer doesn't mean you are "starting a war." It means you are getting the information you need to make good choices.